I Want A Divorce, But My Husband Does Not. What Can He Do To Prevent Divorce?

16 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I to have been married for twenty five years and do want a divorce and my husband does not.  I to feel no longer in love with him, as he is a very selfish man and only thought of himself and his career for the last thirty years.  He is a medical doctor and has been a consultant for the last ten years.  All twenty five years of marrage was only about him and what he wanted.  I have three children and has been both mother and father for them during the years, as he had no time to bond with me and the children.  He lived all these years like a single man,  The cheating was endless, with me turning a blind eye to it so that my children stablity can be kept.  For years I pretended to be happy for all my family and friends but no one ever knew how terrible he treated me.  I have been planning my divorce escape for the last six years.  I went back to University to retrain myself for the last five years and is about to graduate in the next six weeks.  I have begun paying all my debts so I would not be leaving the marrage with any.  My big daughter just finish a masters degree and she is now working.  My eighteen year old just got into the Army, leaving me to only take care of the eight year old.  We need to do this for ourself and our children.  I read above where you were told that children needs two parents, yes this is true if they both can get along living together, but the truth of the matter is we are strong women and can do this by ourselves.  We also need to be happy.   I prefer my children has a mother that is happy that is present and showing up in her own life, I am tired of chasing my husband dreams that does not include me, I have dreams of my own.  Go ahead and get your divorce, because I am, and be a better and happier mother for your children.  Don't beat yourself up about counseling, I tried it for eight months and to sum it up I was asked in little words to ignor my feeling for the sake of the children.  I wish you all the best, but just the taught of me being free, happier around my kids, a new home and a life where I make my own choices and decisions sound dam good to me,  Good luck my friend we both need it.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
THE GREAT POWERFUL DR:OGUL SPELL CASTER THAT CAN CASTER ALL PROBLEM BRING BACK MY Ex HUSBAND TO
ME AM NOW HAPPY WITH MY CHILD AND MY HUSBAND, AM NOW HAPPY WITH MY FAMILY EMAIL HIM FOR HELP
[email protected]
My name is sherly chabii I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this
man called dr ogul has just done for me ,this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me
with his great spell, I was married to this man called john we were together for a long time and
we loved our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 2 years he left me and told me
he can’t continue anymore then I was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine
told me about this man and gave his contact email to me:[email protected] then you won't
believe this when I contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my
lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am
pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great dr ogul if
not you what would i have done, if you are out there passing through any of this problems email
[email protected]
Fred Jones Profile
Fred Jones answered
I can't do a thing to prevent it. It is never an easy process to get a divorce as people always say they will be civil going through it but when you start speaking of splitting the possessions, everyone gets greedy. You just have to make sure you have everything in line. Speak to a financial planner so that you know you and the kids will be taken care of. Then speak to an attorney to file and get the ball rolling.

My ex began the process on me and I gave her and the kids everything and then she got more greedy and I put up my defenses and began stooping to her level. I caught myself in the middle though as I realized it was hurting the kids more than anything else. I found, as it turned out, she had been planning ahead for several years to get a divorce and had herself financially set with no way I could touch those assets and I must give her kudos for that.

The bottom line is that it is all about the kids so keep them out of it and do not use them as tools as my ex had begun to do. I have a much better relationship with my kids since I backed off when she began putting them in the middle. It was hard because at first, they thought I didn't care as I let things go and broke contact. Once they realized their lifes became so much easier and what the root cause was, they began to contact me and it made it all better.

Of course, I became very depressed and now that I have lost my job/career, I am working to recover once again. Most of the battle was the realization of it all. Just wish I had seen it before I let my job go in the toilet.
thanked the writer.
Diane Eberle
Diane Eberle commented
Thank you for your answer. I really just want out of the marriage to be free to start life over. All I want is for my husband to agree to sell the house, so my credit is not ruined as he cannot afford the mortgage payments. I want to have the kids 5 days a week during the school year and be able to live near my family (out of state but only 40 min away). He is claiming I am trying to cut him out of their life but I would never do that or tell our kids anything bad about their father because I think it is unfair to kids to do that. If he doesn't want to come to spend time with them, I am willing to drive them to see him whenever he wants. All I want is some modest child support, to have the kids with me most of the time (he works horrible hours so I don't see how he could keep the kids with him) and to be near my family. I have been isolated from my family and want the kids to be near their cousins and grandfather. Where we live now, there is no family around. There are a few things in the house i would like because they were in my house when I was growing up but other than that I do not want anything except maybe some of my childrens toys and clothes but if he wanted those I really wouldn't care. I have no interest in things. I just want peace and to start living life free of sadness and depression. I do not wish my husband any harm- I just want to be free of him and not have him having power over my decisions anymore. I know it will take me a while to heal from the abuse that was in our marriage, but I cannot begin that until we divorce.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Go to a lawyer and he/she will take care of getting the divorce for you. You don't need to ask your husband, the judge will tell him to be out by a certain date. If then he STILL won't go, the police will come and remove him. It happened to my sister.
Alison Baillie Profile
Alison Baillie answered
I can't advise you on legal things as I live in UK and I'm guessing you live in the USA...BUT... The very first thing you should do (you should have done it BEFORE mentioning divorce, ideally) is make sure you have your own bank account in your name only. If you have a joint account, open a sole account and transfer half the money. I can assure you that your husband will turn into a financial monster from now on. They always try to turn the screws on you financially as its the last way they can exercise control over you. Believe me, I made the mistake of marrying 2 controlling abusive men, and I was amazed at the way they turned into spiteful misers, even though the reasons for divorcing lay in their hands. Do everything you can to secure some financial independence as quickly as possible. The very next time he is abusive to you or your children, wait for him to go out to work or wherever he goes, phone an emergency locksmith, and while he's round changing your locks, chuck all of hubby's stuff out on to the front step with a note saying 'A taxi is coming to pick you up, if you don't get in it, I'm calling the police.' Call a cab to arrive around the time you expect your husband to get home, and make sure your kids are out playing at someone Else's house, or in the cinema when this is happening, so they don't have to be afraid inside the house while your husband inevitably shouts at you through the door! If you think he will get violent, call the police and tell them what's happening. But don't let your kids be around or in the street, in case he takes one of them away with him in the heat of the moment. Your kids safety and security is the most important thing to bear in mind. If their lives are miserable now, do what you can to remedy that.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
I totally understand where you are coming from and think you are the bigger person for taking this hard stance. you are right about keeping your kids stable, but please be aware, they will be far more aware of whats going on that you are giving them credit for. sit them down, explain what is happening, reinforce the fact it is not about them over and over and ask for their understanding, you will get it and they will feel easier as they then have understanding to draw on. this will help them to move on and build their resilience to enable the to do so. above all, be available to them, be kind to yourself as this is not all your fault and stay focused on the end result....you and your children living in peace and together...........enjoy
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Well I do love my "husband" as a friend. He is  my best friend no doubt!  But I've always felt as if that's where it ends.. We have 3 children together. We both love them madly. And they make us happier, individually, than we've ever been before! But that doesn't keep us from arguing constantly. Ignoring eachother's needs. Always having that "brother sister relationship" and craving something more from an outside source.. He has a hard time accepting this, but he has admitted in the past that we moved way too fast and I know in my heart that we both deserve better than what we give eachother. Even if that means raising our kids alone and seperated. The emotional and mental stress and drainage that we cause eachother is almost more than I can bare. And I say almost because somehow I've managed to make it 6 years without completely abandoning him. We seperated for two months just this last year. I realized it'd be easier for us financially to stay together until we each were stable enough on our own to provide for the kids; who again mean the world to us. We wants best for them, but we do not get along. Every single day is a new struggle and extreme effort to keep our family together. We've been through a lot in these past 6 years and so it makes it very complicated. But we aren't "happy". Not as happy as we should/deserve to be.. And I've grown so exhausted from it all. I asked him to allow space between us so that we could attempt to mend whatever is wrong and hopefully come together again in the future stronger and closer than before, but he repeatedly bashed me for "doing that to the kids" and demanded I not see or speak to anyone other than him or else he'd keep the kids from me. He harrassed me every single day. Even into the morning after we'd put the kids to sleep. (He had our two youngest and I had our eldest). It was more strain than I could handle.. And so I caved. We are living in the same home now. I reassure him every now and then thay someday I am going to "break free". He just sits around and tells me I'm wrong, crazy, exaggerative, wrong.. I'm at a loss. I can't turn to my family - they ppractically disowned me when they heard of the split. Very old fashioned. I'm just lost and confused. And I don't know how much more I can take.
JuliAnne/ Genuine Guidance Profile
Yes
Get an attorney and proceed with the divorce.
There are no laws in America anyways that state you HAVE to stay married if you choose to get divorced.
In some instances, you can force the hubby out of the house.
Ask your attorney how to do this.
christabel thomas Profile

Whatever you do, don't contact people that approach you to offer confidential advice. I replied to a post in a public forum claiming to be from a "doctor" that helps people in their lives... Instead, it turned out to be a COMPLETE SCAM!!!

I should have known by the poor spelling in his post and the fact that he was called something wacky like Dr. Onunu

He tried to offer to cast spells for me in return for a wire transfer. Luckily I wasn't dumb enough to fall for it, but some people do!!!

Stephanies Vincent Profile
Stephanies Vincent , married, answered

He can't legally stop you from divorcing him, but you may want to consider on what grounds you officially separate from him as it may have impact on how your joint assets are divided and what kind of custody will be granted over any children.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I don't believe you get a divorce - just because. There needs to be grounds that are personal to you. If you are unhappy and unable to make things work for the both of you then yes you can divorce him. Hire an atty, and your atty will walk you thru the steps and inform you of what needs to be done for one of you to leave the home. Don't always assume that it will be the husband to leave, sometimes it may be you.
Ri Tam Profile
Ri Tam answered
Well, if he wont leave, why not try to work it out?  What is soooo bad that you need a divorce?  If it involves violence or adultery, I can see it but, if it does not than there is no grounds for either of you to want a divorce. 
Incompatibility, yeah, that does not work either.  I don't think anyone is 100 percent compatible. 
"Wherefore, they are no more 2 but one flesh .  What God has joined together, let no man put asunder"  Matthew 19:6
Vows...till death do we part, right, or was that just a bunch of jibber jabber?
I have seen too many people getting a divorce now days because they do not want to stick it out.  Marriage is hard but if you want it to work, you have to stick with it.  Please, reconsider and think about your actions.  Rich
Read Matthew 19 and I Corinthians 7 in the New Testament and see what Jesus and Paul say about marriage.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Karmabum, you trifiling ass women.  It is a man that was making the post, but yet you comment as if all men are scumbags because "you" chose poorly.  What an idiot.  So, to make you look even more foolish, it was the mother who was using the kids as pawns, not the father.  

Also, if both names are on the lease/mortgage, one or the other cannot just kick the other one out.  They have to be bought out if a mortgage, or have to agree to leave... But yet you assumed abuse.  You are damaged by your poor choices my dear, so please seek counseling and stop spewing your bad choices in men as excuses for a female (even though it was a male posting) to do in-amicable behavior, but for you, I'll say trifling.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I suggest marriage counseling unless he continues to be physically abusive.  Your kids should come first and they only want mom and dad to live together.  Hopefully marriage counseling will return that spark that you first felt.  If it doesn't work, well at least you know you tried and will be able to tell the kids that. Divorce should only be allowed if there is abuse in the marriage.

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