I've Told My Husband That I Want A Divorce And He Won't Accept That. He Still Tries Everything To Rekindle Our Relationship But Its Way Past That Point. What Can I Say Or Do To Get Him To Understand That It's Over?

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11 Answers

Diane Eberle Profile
Diane Eberle answered
I am in the same situation. My husband claims divorce is not acceptable. He is verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive. I feel nothing for him and do not want to stay. I told him I want a divorce but he thinks I should try harder. I have tried for over 8 years of pain and have nothing more to give. We have 3 children so I am trying to get out of the marriage the best way possible.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Yeah I have the same problem, I think my problem is that even though I have said I want a divorce and meant it, I haven't followed through because I have guilt towards my children. Maybe you have a similar problem? Think about your situation but probably if you file for divorce he may realize and accept it's over.
thanked the writer.
Cindy Sipple
Cindy Sipple commented
I think that this might be my best option. He is definitely not taking me seriously and that in itself is aggravating enough. He tries really hard for me to forget the bad stuff, more so lately then before, I just don't want to let my guard down because every time I do, he converts back to his old ways. Never believe them when they say they will do anything to get you back because it's a crock. Even if they do do whatever, once you're back, it's back to their old self again. Found out the hard way.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Until the day you sign the papers and don't live together, he may be in denial of it.  Even after that, if you don't set strict boundaries, he may wheedle his way back in, so be kind but very firm.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I told my husband that I am not attracted to him anymore and that we both deserve better. He hasn't spoke to me in three days now. I don't know what he is thinking, but I know that he is not planning on leaving. I wish he would because I think I am entitled to the house since I am going to be the main caregiver to our children. I do love him, but we've been together for 15 years (since we were 16) and it's time to move on. We have become completely different people, even different cultural views, music tastes, everything. We never have anything to talk about, he is selfish sexually, I could go on and on. I am at a loss of what to do, but I think I'll just slowly start packing my things and saving up. If I have to move into an apt then so be it. Just to be on my own and away from him. Needed to vent!
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Wow this is everything I'm going through.
Stephanies Vincent Profile
Stephanies Vincent , s, answered

This is a sad question and has no real easy answer. It's going to be difficult, but you need to focus on what will be best for both of you. Don't get stuck on thinking how bad his life will be without you - he deserves someone that will feel the same way about him too, and sometimes the best thing you can do is leave to help him realize this.

Dave Russel Profile
Dave Russel answered

Are there any children involved? If so try marriage counselling or try to fix things for the kids will be badly affected in this situation.  If you really can't stand him anymore you can still file for divorce this will show him that you are not kidding and you really meant to divorce him.

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Wow this is the same thing I'm goin throuh. I have two boys and I want to end this like mature adults but his family babies him a lot and that doesnt help the situation. His mom has always solved his problems when yunger and now he can't be a man and accept reality and confront the present situatuion without actting like a spoiled brat and making his own decitions.he needs to understand that its over and be an adult about it.
A Profile
A answered
Let him know that you are sorry but the spark is gone and you feel that you won't be able to continue with the marriage.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Oh my my! Why would he plan on leaving, when you are the one that no longer is attracted to him?  He evidentally has made a home for you and your family, you no longer want that so it is time for you to move on and out..Sorry,falling out of love is no ones fault. It just happens sometimes. But the reality is you are the one that wants out.
Meta Forrest Profile
Meta Forrest answered
Your husband is in shock. You have just brought his world tumbling around him, He  thinks its his fault that you no longer love him and he feels he's let you and his children down. You have to give him time to sort himself out. I mean in truth you are the one who has let him down. Take your children and youself out of his home which he has provided for you and stop blaming him because you no longer love him

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