Anonymous

Why Do A Service Member Who Divorce Have To Pay Half Of Retirement To Ex-wives Who Did Nothing To For The Army?

9 Answers

Will Martin Profile
Will Martin answered
Because that's what happens when you get married - you agree to share everything for better or worse. If your wife had been the one in the army, you would have got your share of her earnings too.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I pay my ex spouse half of my retirement and now she is getting married to someone else. Do I still have to pay her once she marries someone else?
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
My Fiance and I are about to get married after he retires from 20 years active duty. While he was busy EARNING and WORKING for his small military salary, on deployment his now EX wife cheated on him with their childrens teacher. She fell in love with the man, had an extramarital affair, served him papers while he was deployed all the while moving this younger man into HIS home with their children. He mind you never initially wanted the divorce, she did this all on her own. Lied, cheated, lied some more, filed for divorce and now collects over $2,000 a month in support and the final decree states she is still entitled to it if she remarries, we found out she has since married the man she had an affair with and to top it all off...everything was split 50/50 but all he got were the clothes on his back, his car and close to 40k debt that was racked up by her but in "their " names and she will be collecting 50% of his retirement.  THIS IS A COMPLETE OUTRAGE!  I have had about ENOUGH of military wives playing the " I have the toughest job" role and " I had it so bad".....they know what there signing up for when entering into a marriage.....It's time that something be done to protect the rights of those who protect us! The life of a military wife is hard youre right...I see it everyday...lazy women, who mooch and freeload off their spouses and the government, sitting around feeling sorry for themselves. If you feel your entitled to the money...Do the work.....If you look at being a wife and mother as having a full time job......You disgust me......It's life.....you make the choice to get married and have children, youre not forced into it. In some cases SOME benefits are "acceptable" to former spouses....But to leave a man in debt, penniless and still owing you after you've taken everything he's got? Especially to NO fault of his own....It's a complete disgrace that this continues to be allowed!  This pity party law that favors the person who hasn't earned what there taking needs to END and it needs to END NOW!   I feel for the men who this is happening to and am nauseated by the women who do it.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I have a question. My mother informed me today she was going to try and get half of my dads retirement. Kinda pisses me off cause they have been divorce over 20 years and I figure if she was going to do it why did she sit on it so long, and they were married about 17 years but hes been married to my step mom for little more than 20 years. So my question is there a time limitation on receiving half of military spouse retirement. Isn't something that should of been addressed at the time of the divorce.  And who would be more entitled her or step mom. I know I should be in her corner, however I feel she has fallen on hard times and looking for an easy way out. And he just became unemployed and drawing unemployment. I'm hoping she doesnt and will get off her ass and go back to work.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Ok, I read all these questions and answers about divorce in military! I am military wife  ( US Marine active)  for 15 years, I've been gone thru a lot, from giving birth C-section without my husband besides me, Taking care of our 3 children while he is gone etc. We marine wives did a lot of stuff and in fairness so is our husbands. The pension is for being married after 10years, so it means that, military husbands can divorce us before 10 years if they feel that it wont work out nor if their wives is not good for them. And why in these sessions, it sounds that the wives is the only one cheats. The military cheated more than wives! I worked in military bases and I could see it on my own eyes that married military men always cheats their wives!!
I feel that we deserve every penny of pensions that the military men will get!
Kimberly Moore Profile
Kimberly Moore answered
She did nothing for the army? She dealt with you and that should have been enough. It is very difficult to be a military wife, not only do you have to follow all the rules of the army but she does too and then she also has to deal with you and all the problems that come with the military. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high with the military? You guys go off to war come back messed up and then refuse to get treatment and the wives get the butt end of all that and are expected to deal with it like its no big deal. If you were married long enough to have her get half of your retirement check then she deserves it.
thanked the writer.
Anonymous
Anonymous commented
LEt me tell u something i'm active military for the US Infantry and military men work their buts off to make your lives better, u married a man in the military for a reason because your man has the balls to step up and serve his country, One thing i will say is yes its hard moving around and dealing with some of the army stuff they throw at u but your husband is also risking his life working his but off while your chillin and dont give me that well i have kids crap because i have kids to what it really comes down to is if the wife really loves that person theyll put up with the moving around once in a while and a deployment if it comes the fact of the matter with divorces is that to many wives cant go without having sex for 15 months straight and they go to far as to get caught cheating on their husband so don't give me your crap,, military wives have it great compared to alot of civilian wives because i know when all the bills are paid and everything is good and gravy u wives cant complain about that . So stop blaming the military cuz the fact of the matter is if u don't like it then u shouldnt have married someone in the military
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
What happened to just paying exit spouse alimony but not half of your pension for God sake--government should be shame of themselves.  This mean if you are getting $4000 a month then after a divorce, you will only get $2000.  All of these years of hard work in the military and these people cannot get their whole pension if divorced--something is wrong with this picture.  These wives certainly know what they are getting themselves in when they marry these military people; they also know if they divorce them that they get half of pension.  Many military employees may never be able to support another family.  In the civilian life if you follow your spouse around while the employer moves spouse around the world or just staying at the house keeping children while spouse goes somewhere to work, if they get a divorce, spouse cannot get half of his pension and personally does not deserve that much.  Spouse only be able to get child support, possibility of alimony, and the house, etc., but never half of pension.  This law should be changed to help these poor military people from suffering.  You even hear about them not being able to find employment after getting out and some may be too old or have mental problems behind all of that distress they go through--but still cannot get whole pension if divorced--this is unbelievable.

Beside what another spouse wants with someone who may not be able to get employment again and cannot totally support another family because the first spouse is getting half of the pension and benefits; these are some insane laws.  If any of the pension is given at all, it should have a limitation on it for sure such as  5 or 6 years to the most.

I now feel sorry for these military people and would never want to be involved with someone from the  military and divorced.

If these spouses do not talk us for themselves in the military about this situation, it will never be corrected.

Have a wonderful life.
Barbara Schantz Mauldin Profile
I was married for 20 years to a retired master sgt but only 3 of those years were in service. Nine months after we got married I had an accident that put me in a disability form. My spouse received $100,000.00 out of this accident so this is when he came out of the service. The next 17 years were hell. He would not get help for PTSD and emotionally he was a mess. I felt trapped so I went to the closest vet center. I didn't receive any help from them except for the counselors to tell me about his problems. He spent all of my money and his because I had to be hospitalized so many times.  The day came that he threatened to kill me. The counselor told me to get my keys and get out because the first person that a vet with PTSD would kill would be the wife. My husband left me shortly after that and hid out. Strangely he showed up in court and served as his own attorney. To make this short, I ended up with $300.00 a month and half the bills. I did get the house which had outstanding money owned on it. I had to fight va over this little bit of money. My ex-husband is still hiding out, has not paid any of the bills and left me to live on a small social security check and $300.00. I am not asking for his pension or any retired money I just want alimony to help me. I don't have money for attorneys and it is very hard for me to live on this amount. I had to dogs when we divorced and they were given excellent care during our marriage but since I had to put one of them down because I couldn't pay for her needs. I feel screwed by everyone - I don't care where he gets the alimony and I am not asking him to pay my medical bills but he did receive the $100,000 at the time I became disable. Life is not fair but people should be. I feel alone and forgotten.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
I was with my husband for 25 years we have now spilt up and he has gone back to the usa he has left me with all the joint debts in England I am facing going bankrupt. How do I go about getting half of his usaf pension that is legally mine

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