I myself was an abused wife. My husband at the time would hit me and tell me if I had not made him mad it would not have happened.
He broke my ribs, bruised me, locked me in closets, put me down in front of others, called me names and told me no one else would want me because I was worth nothing.
He refused to let me cook, clean or do anything. Because he said I was not smart enough. This also happened in front of my sons.
The beatings got worse so I had to leave.
Now my life is better. I am going to college and in a good relationship. My advice to you is to leave and get help repairing your self esteem. I can tell you from experience that it takes a long time but in the end it is worth it.
You are worth more than letting a man beat you. If you stay it will never get any better no matter what he promises you.
It is not your fault for what he is doing. I always thought it was my fault but learned through therapy it was not. He needs help for his problem. Unless he helps himself you cannot help him.
I know it is painful to think of a life on your own but it gets better. The love of friends and family can help you. Good luck.
Leaving will be hard. You just need to do it now. The longer you stay the harder it will be to leave. You are worth so much!!!
Save yourself now. Leaving him will be yor first step into a better life. He will harrass you. Do not show him any fear. Abusers need to make their victims have fear. That is the only way he feels good about himself.
Go to the police station and file a CPO and tell them to give you info on resources to help abused women start a new life with support.
Do you have children? If you do that is the reason to get out NOW! If not they will become abusers or the victim. Protect them and yourself. Take care!!!
This is a very difficult problem to deal with. It may have been going on for some time, perhaps with emotional and psychological abuse as well. You will probably be suffering very low esteem and perhaps even thinking that this situation is your fault.
The first thing to realise is that it definitely is not your fault. One person cannot be 'made' to hit another; it is something they choose to do. They may do it in anger because they lose control, but you do not move their arms and fists and make them hit you.
Have you told anyone else what is happening? Try to confide in a friend or a relative to get some support. You will need to decide what to do. If you still love him and want to stay and work it out, then you need to try to get yourself and perhaps both of you some help with a counsellor.
You must not just put up with being abused and beaten. You do not deserve this.
If you want to get out, you need to find some way to do this. It is often more difficult than you expect because an abuser will do everything in his power to stop you.
The violence may get worse, so you need to get away. If you leave and he stalks, follows or harasses you, you need to see a solicitor and get an injunction against him. The police have very little power to help, unless you call them about an incident that has just happened ~ even then he may be back a few hours later.
Your GP may help, or you can contact local groups that run refuges for women. But you need to ask for help; even people who may have noticed don't want to 'get involved'. But your real friends will support you and will help you become independent again.
Are you serious? So, he's a woman beater then? I have no respect for women beaters whatsoever.
Turn him over to the authorities, meaning the police. Send him to jail. Don't be afraid! He can't harm you from behind bars!
In the meantime, if you have any family where you are at, go and stay with them until things cool off. You shouldn't tolerate a man beating on you like that. Who the hell does he think he is?
I wouldn't have that! I grew up with two boys so I know how to defend myself if it ever came to that, you know what I mean? I don't have that! You shouldn't either. A man putting his hands on a woman shows that he is a coward, that's all that he is.
Get out while you can. Leaving isn't difficult when he disrespects you like trash. Girl, leave that S.O.B. And find a man who will treat you like the queen that you are.
I am living in Fujairah, United Arab Emirates.
It is the seventh year of my marriage and my husband has been beating me up continously even when I was pregnant.
I have one daughter and one son I have no one to help me - and he knows that and he also said that I am poor and cannot do anything and he has many sources especially in the police so I cannot even inform them.
I really tried for the sake of my children to make my husband happy but he continously cheats on me and hits me badly and abuses me in front of my children.
He told me to take my daughter away and leave my son and go away from his life but I cannot leave my son I just want both of my children with me and I want to leave him but I have no one to help me.
Please help me, I am really tired of being hit all the time. He once broke my rib. Also, I am originally from Pakistan and also him. Please help me .
My husband's violence towards me has escalated over the past three years.
First it started with pushing me, then he graduated to using anabolic steroids and chasing me and hitting me. I had surgery and he hit me where my wound was.
Even after all of the cheating and torture he put me threw some of my family members tell me to try to work it out.
I have a child and a college degree and I am at a loss that society would treat me so dishonorably. I feel judged and persecuted. I just want support and my dignity back. Is it that bad to take pride in yourself and want to feel safe happy and loved.
My husband beats me up in front of my daughters I can't leave him as I don't have anywhere to go my family do not support me they don't want to get involved I think he might kill me
My husband used to beat me at lot when we got married. I was so thin. So I found a solution. I started gaining weight. Increased my strength. I was mentally determined now.
I didn't take it as a joke now. One day he hit me really hard, that day I got really angry.
I always used to cry after he used to hit me but this time I gathered all my strength and started hitting him hard with both my hands. I didn't stop. I got mad. I continued hitting him.
He tried to grab my hands but I din't stop. I told him that if he'll hit me again then I'll hit him with anything which will get in my way be it iron rod.
I showed a kind of madness on my face and started shouting and hitting him until he got really tired and until he got scared.
After that incident my husband always avoids hitting me because he knows I have more strength to hit him back and he's also scared.
By the way, we both love each other a lot. Hitting is like a habit which he must have learnt from his parents or somewhere else.
My husband hit me today ... Multiple times.... I have just had lymph nodes removed from my breasts and have been recovering from my surgery which took place just this week...
He is upset as he has to now balance his office and work in the house and look after me (I have no other support as both my parents are dead).
I try and help in any way I can but I am limited by my surgery and my right hand is almost useless....
He got upset today when he had to put on a duvet cover all by himself and was mad at me for putting the old one in the wash.
My surgery wound hurts like hell right now ... I live in the UK and I have no one else to go to in terms of family... Can someone please help?
Leave him and call a helpline.
First of all I would like to say I am sorry you have been put through this. Next, get the guts up and call the police and get a restraining order. There are shelters out there to help battered woman and children. Please seek help immediately.
Some men are just not saved and will beat their wives as a tranferance from another abuse done to them.
Do not stay!
Contact Woman Helping Woman and get out of there.
You should stand up for yourself!
Fight for what you believe in. And if he tries to beat you again, if you have children, quickly grab them and get out of the house. If he tries to hurt you any more, run to a room with a phone and a lock on the door then contact the police. I would do that.
I got married two years ago.. We've a baby boy of 10 months.
It all started when I got pregnant.. At first he used to push me then gradually he got more aggressive and started hitting me with his hands.
He threw me against the wall with full force..he slapped me..I don't know what to do.. He really loves my son and if I leave him he will take my son away from me and I don't want to lose my son at any cost... I am very depressed. Please help me!
Next time he touches you threaten to call the police and if then again if he hits you then call the police and report domestic abuse.
If you think this is too risky, leave after he goes to asleep (so he can't stop you from leaving) and don't EVER look back!!!!
Yes... You should get a divorce!!!
Call the police and LEAVE.
Watch the movie called "Enough" and do thou likewise!
You should get a divorce or you have any male friend then take their help or tell your problem to your family member, not his though...
Leave them and be happy. I know it's not easy girls but you've got to do what you got to do!
My husband calls me names and shouts at me in front his parents and nearly tries to hit me. I am really unhappy with my life? Please help me I feel like killing myself......
All of the suggestions above are good, but you might not willing to break this relationship that easy, or somehow you are used to of all of this.
Simply sit with him when his mood is right, tell him clearly that whatever happened is gone, but now if you one more single time are going to do it again, then you will have no option but to report it to police and seek separation.
It is definitely a big decision but it's better then being beaten again and again, and blaming yourself. He's responsible for all this & it's most important before you lose your self confidence and self esteem that you can proceed in life without him as well.
If I had it to do all over again, I'd have left him before we were married.
My experience is too long to write, and yours will be too if you don't leave or get help. One situation over another, the pile just grows, and before you know it, it will take a bulldozer to move.
Save yourself and your children before it is too late.
I have been married for last three years and have a two year baby girl.
My in-laws and two unmarried sister-in-laws have abused me from the first month of my marriage and still they insult me.
Bad thing is that my husband also insults me and many times has beaten me in front of his family and in private also. He has beaten me even when I was pregnant.
I left him for one month but came back realising that what would be my daughter's future without her father.
I also love him but he is still the same, how should I cope with him and his family as I don't want to leave him?
That is what spousal abuse is. Call 9-1-1 to get the help. Get out of there..
I need to get out the house before Friday. Please help me.