My Boyfriend Wont Tell His Ex About Me Because She Will Run With His Daughter. What Do I Do?


2 Answers

Oscar De La Huerte Profile
First and foremost, I would recommend persuading your boyfriend to get some legal advise.

If his ex is as vindictive and upset as you make her sound, there is a chance she'll up and leave with his daughter eventually anyway.

As far as what you can do to help the situation, I'd say you're going to have to come clean about the relationship eventually- so you need to help your boyfriend understand this.

Boyfriend's ex might take his daughter away because of me

It sounds to me like you're in a bit of a sticky situation.

Whilst I'm sure you don't want to have to keep your relationship a secret forever, you also don't want to risk seeing your boyfriend lose his daughter.

I think the answer to the problem really lies in what your boyfriend is willing to do.

My boyfriend won't tell his ex about me
It sounds to me as if he's too scared of provoking his ex, and this is something that will loom over your lives until he addresses it.

As far as what you can do for him to help him overcome the problem, there are two things:

  • Support him- Knowing that someone has got his back will make him feel more confident in tackling the situation. Try not to pile on the pressure, but at the same time stand up for your relationship. This is easier said than done, but I'm sure you're capable of it!
  • Help him get some legal advice- Once he realizes his legal options and rights, he might feel a lot more secure about things. Whilst court should be an option of last resort- it's important to get your homework done early just in case.
Merlin Paine Profile
Merlin Paine answered
Well if you are living with him or live in a small town, she is most likely to find out anyway. If she is going to run away with his child- one would ask 'is it legal for her to do so?'

If his daughter knows of you, she is unlikely to keep this from her mother.

As far as keeping anything secret for long, I refer to the 'Poor Richards' maxim by Benjamin Franklin: "Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead."
thanked the writer.
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Merlin Paine
Merlin Paine commented
But still he should come clean because his ex does not have the right to flee. He should not hide you from her because sooner or later she will find out even if it take a few years. He might as well address it now.
Melonie Skinner
Melonie Skinner commented
See and I agree 100% I tell him that he should come clean because it will only make things worse for him but he doesn't listen to me. I really think he still has feelings for her because he always wants to know if she has slept with anyone which isn't his business anymore (at least I don't think it is). Then he tells me he is only asking her because he wants to know who is around his daughter.
Melonie Skinner
Melonie Skinner commented
I agree that he should know who is around his daughter but as far as who his ex is sleeping with I think that is a little much. No they are not married and she is a very vindictive person

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