If you cannot TRUST your spouse, then no matter how much you love her, you have no marriage. And if the person betrayed you once, how can you ever KNOW they will not betray you again? You cannot know that. It will always be there, in the back of your mind, that it COULD happen. And that knowledge is like a cancer... It's consequences are inevitable.
I know that's probably not an answer you like to hear. We want to be told things will work out, and we tend to believe that which we want to believe is true. I truly wish I had a better answer to give you... But I would divorce immediately. As far as I am concerned when something is inevitable, it is better for all concerned to get it over with as soon as possible.
If you love this woman and feel that you could move on from this experience together, and learn to trust her again, then staying with her might be appropriate. However, if you feel that you will be unable to move on and will remain feeling angry, hurt and betrayed then it isn't fair on either of you to maintain the relationship. Also, it depends how you found out. If she told you and was open, honest and apologetic, then that speaks volumes. If you found out accidentally, then you might have less reason to trust her in the future.
The fact of the matter is that the question you are pondering that she needs to answer with truth and honesty is why. You two need to sit down and discuss this. Explain to her how much you love her. Because only genuine love is willing to stay with a spouse that has been cheating for that long. Ask her if she plans to continue the affair and if so then you two need to make arrangements for a divorce. But if she wants to make the marriage work as you do she should stop being selfish and leave this man alone and their relationship should not have gone that far in the first place both parties are responsible him being your friend and her more for being your wife. Be honest and explain how deeply she has hurt you and that you are not judging but trying to be the best man you can at loving her and that has to count for a great deal.
If she complies and wants to work at the marriage set the ground rules. If she does not and gives you a hard time then the marriage is over. You are a good man with a good heart and I am sorry your wife has been so selfish, there are many women who would kill for true love like yours.
What do you want?Is she worth trying to deal with doubt and suspicion you're going to have for a while.Three years is a good run.And you didn't suspect or notice any kind of a change with the relationship?How long you been with her ?
Umm I wouldn't wait for her to do it again I would divorce her my ex slep with nine other people through out our marriage and each time she said she wouldn't do it again there is only so much one can take.if its been 3 years I would divorce her
As much as it would hurt I would divorce her. Three years is a long time and it's enough time to have loving feelings for that person. If she did this for three years she isn't going to stop. I'm a woman and from my point of view you should get a divorce. You will never trust her and once a cheat always a cheat! Sorry, hope you will be able to figure it out.
I have to disagree with sexymomma I wouldn't necessarily divorce her right off the bat if you truly love this woman and want it to work and she wants it to work then seek marriage counseling because it will help gaon the trust back thats what your going to be lacking in your relationship for now on and the once a cheater always a cheater I don't believe that saying its all up to the person I hate your going through this because it hurts very bad been there but I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose
I sympathize with you. I know how you truly want to keep her in your life because of your sincere love for her. Sadly, if she had cheated on you for 3 years, that means she had been so unreasonably selfish and abusive, and her conscience must have been very insensitive now. She may apologize for her infidelity, but unless she values your love and relationship, there could still be chances of it repeating in the future. I know that there may be some other important reasons why you hesitate to take the course of divorce. You may probably have children or some financial assets. However if you can no longer function as a normal man due to the trauma it has caused you, there is no other solution but to free yourself from mental and emotional distress. You deserve a better life, a much more loving and faithful wife.
Take her out 2 de place where you know she will love it n ask her if she is completely satisfied with you,what can you do 4 her, that can make her happy,because it might happen that she lack smithing 4rm you n is afraid 2 tel you.Communication is the key 2 everything.
Just ask her in a friendly way that you don't like what she might b doing n tel her how much you loves her n want to live with her 4 de rest of your life.