Wife Having Affair For 3 Yrs Should I Keep Her Or Divorce Her?

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11 Answers

Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you cannot TRUST your spouse, then no matter how much you love her, you have no marriage.  And if the person betrayed you once, how can you ever KNOW they will not betray you again?  You cannot know that.  It will always be there, in the back of your mind, that it COULD happen.  And that knowledge is like a cancer... It's consequences are inevitable.
 
I know that's probably not an answer you like to hear.  We want to be told things will work out, and we tend to believe that which we want to believe is true.  I truly wish I had a better answer to give you... But I would divorce immediately.  As far as I am concerned when something is inevitable, it is better for all concerned to get it over with as soon as possible.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
If you love this woman and feel that you could move on from this experience together, and learn to trust her again, then staying with her might be appropriate. However, if you feel that you will be unable to move on and will remain feeling angry, hurt and betrayed then it isn't fair on either of you to maintain the relationship. Also, it depends how you found out. If she told you and was open, honest and apologetic, then that speaks volumes. If you found out accidentally, then you might have less reason to trust her in the future.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
FInd out why she did it maybe there is a pattern as to why it keeps happening. It may have somthing to do with your relationship; with her that has some dysfunctionality.. Maybe she has low self esteem or is in need of attention . It is possible that she would rather have the atention from youand is in love with you and keeps trying but the two of you arent communicating wht you need and things never improve. Maybe she doesnt really understand what she needsand some serious counseling will help
Mrs Ellis Profile
Mrs Ellis answered
The fact of the matter is that the question you are pondering that she needs to answer with truth and honesty is why. You two need to sit down and discuss this. Explain to her how much you love her. Because only genuine love is willing to stay with a spouse that has been cheating for that long. Ask her if she plans to continue the affair and if so then you two need to make arrangements for a divorce. But if she wants to make the marriage work as you do she should stop being selfish and leave this man alone and their relationship should not have gone that far in the first place both parties are responsible him being your friend and her more for being your wife. Be honest and explain how deeply she has hurt you and that you are not judging but trying to be the best man you can at loving her and that has to count for a great deal.
If she complies and wants to work at the marriage set the ground rules. If she does not and gives you a hard time then the marriage is over. You are a good man with a good heart and I am sorry your wife has been so selfish, there are many women who would kill for true love like yours.
randy mitchell Profile
randy mitchell answered
What do you want?Is she worth trying to deal with doubt and suspicion you're going to have for a while.Three years is a good run.And you didn't suspect or notice any kind of a change with the relationship?How long you been with her   ?
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
20 years and no change in the relationship at all. There is no way she could have done this I just don't know what happened. That shows don't ever THUST any one in your life, don't matter who it is.
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered
Umm I wouldn't wait for her to do it again I would divorce her my ex slep with nine other people through out our marriage and each time she said she wouldn't do it again there is only so much one can take.if its been 3 years I would divorce her
erica underwood Profile
erica underwood answered
As much as it would hurt I would divorce her. Three years is a long time and it's enough time to have loving feelings for that person. If she did this for three years she isn't going to stop. I'm a woman and from my point of view you should get a divorce. You will never trust her and once a cheat always a cheat! Sorry, hope you will be able to figure it out.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
Wow, I have the exact same story, but mine is worst. My wife has been doing this for four years and we been together now 33 yrs. The pain is extruciating. I am going to sue this old once best friend real good soon. Alienation of affection. A law in illinois
crystal malcom Profile
crystal malcom answered
I have to disagree  with sexymomma  I wouldn't necessarily divorce her right off the bat  if you truly love this woman  and want it to work and she wants it to work then seek marriage counseling   because it will help gaon the trust back thats what your going to be lacking in your relationship for now on   and the once a cheater always a cheater I don't believe that  saying its all up to the person    I hate your going through this because it hurts very bad   been there   but I wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose
Anonymous Profile
Anonymous answered

My name is Julian, 9 months ago my fiance left me for another girl and told me he can not continue the relationship with me again, he said he can not marry me or have any thing to do with me again because he do not love me any more.I tried to ask him what the problem was but he kept quite and walked away and for some months he did not call me or answer his phone with i call him..I was confused and did not know what to do until my friend told me how Lord Kakabu helped help with her marriage.. I contacted Lord Kakabu via email and did all he told me and few hours later Derick my fiance called me and started begging me to forgive him and since then i made a vow to myself to tell the word how i got my fiance back.Are you in any relationship crises or sick and need cure then contact Lord Kakabu via Email: [email protected]

Payne Butler Profile
Payne Butler answered

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chally Che Profile
chally Che answered
I sympathize with you. I know how you truly want to keep her in your life because of your sincere love for her. Sadly, if she had cheated on you for 3 years, that means she had been so unreasonably selfish and abusive, and her conscience must have been very insensitive now. She may apologize for her infidelity, but unless she values your love and relationship, there could still be chances of it repeating in the future. I know that there may be some other important reasons why you hesitate to take the course of divorce. You may probably have children or some financial assets. However if you can no longer function as a normal man due to the trauma it has caused you, there is no other solution but to free yourself from mental and emotional distress. You deserve a better life, a much more loving and faithful wife.
SWEETNESS KING Profile
SWEETNESS KING answered
Take her out 2 de place where you know she will love it n ask her if she is completely satisfied with you,what can you do 4 her, that can make her happy,because it might happen that she lack smithing 4rm you n is afraid 2 tel you.Communication is the key 2 everything.
Just  ask her in a friendly way that you don't like what she might b doing n tel her how much you loves her n want to live with her 4 de rest of your life.
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Anonymous
Anonymous commented
The reason their relationship started ,he is a builder and we had some building work done in 2004 that's the time the SMS and email started and then seeing each other. I am not sure whats going to happen whether they will see each other or not. There was no problems in our relationship + he was a very good friend, that's what i thought.

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