Anonymous

Can I apologize to a former mentor who asked me not to contact her? Or is it harassment to contact someone who asked you not to?

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4 Answers

Angela Anthony Profile
Angela Anthony answered

It's a nice thing to want to apologize, that being said, if you were specifically asked not to contact her, then don't. I found it really creepy when I asked someone not to contact me, and that person continued to do so. It can be perceived as threatening.

al sailey Profile
al sailey answered

I think if you are just contacting her to apologize to her then it is ok but do not have a conversation with her just apologize and even if she responds do not respond back

Arthur Wright Profile
Arthur Wright , Florida Paralegal with a BS degree in Social-Psychology, answered

It all depends on why she asked you not to contact her anymore. She could possibly file charges against you for Harassment or even possibly stalking too so best honor her wishes before you make an already bad situation any worse here

Elica Zadeh Profile
Elica Zadeh answered

Whether or not you contacting her would be considered harassment all depend on the prior circumstances that lead her to asking you not to contact her again. Did you exhibit threatening behaviour towards her? Did you bombard her with messages or physically follow her around? 

If so, contacting her could be considered as a harassment, however, according to the law:

"In this legal guidance, the term harassment is used to cover the 'causing alarm or distress' offences under section 2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997"

Also

"it can include repeated attempts to impose unwanted communications and contact upon a victim in a manner that could be expected to cause distress or fear in any reasonable person."

With all things considered, it would seem that sending an apology would not technically be deemed as harassment since it is not intended to cause distress or fear (although she may be distressed simply by receiving any word from you at all). 

It is best to assess the severity of the situation before going ahead with your apology, but my advice is to do so over email and not attempt to physically speak with her or see her. 

Also, remember that an apology can only be an apology, and can not be an accusation in order to shift the blame and exonerate yourself. That negates the purpose of the apology.

I hope this helps.

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